Running

I've been running since middle school. It's always been my thing. My own escape. Running is the one thing I've never had a reason for doing. I didn't run for my parents, I didn't run for fame, I didn't run to achieve something. Its just always been my freedom. Lately I've learned that all my running has been helpful to my ovaries; helpful to my hormones, helpful to my weight. It should have been good news. I should have seen some glimmer of light in a darken tunnel of bad news. But instead I felt a cherry seed of bitterness. Running was the one thing I could do whenever I wanted or not do at all. But things have changed. Now I have to run everyday for a least 30 minutes. Its part of the nutritional plan, its part of getting over this PCOS; it's part of balancing my hormones. But is it still part of me?

This is day 5 of HAVING to run. I hate it. My thoughts seem as obligated as my body. I'm trying to get back to those days when I was excited to take stride after stride. I miss the feeling of racing the wind; and I miss the feeling in my lungs that seem constantly ready for more strides and more speed. Now I am running to check the box.

This is truly a new journey for me.