Home Remedies

My parents came to visit me this weekend and bought with them some home remedies to help me get pregnant! Being Haitian they are strong advocates of natural herbal remedies. Basically I spent the weekend drinking a lot of tea. Not your normal tea that comes in a tea bag but literally leaves from trees (or bushes). We still have family in Haiti so my parents requested certain types of herbs. One is to help remove the cyst on my ovaries and the other is to help me ovulate. Quite frankly I simply felt like I was eating grass-but I indulged my mother, after all, I've tried my own home remedies. At least my parents herbs have some sort of proven basis, my home remedies is just my imagination over reacting! For example, the time I have tried to stand on my head, in an attempt to assist the sperm to get to the right place! So yeah, drinking some tea leaves is certainly not that bad!!! A little bitter, but certainly not bad

Body Temp

Today is the 20th of August and my body temperature has not changed from the 1st of August. Remember that a woman's temperature rises when she ovulates and stays elevated if she is pregnant. (Aren't you impressed with how much I know...I'm practically a doctor!) Anyway, each day I chart my body temperature. Well to be honest, charting would entail me writing it down, I just merely remember what the numbers are. This month is has been rather easy to remember my temperature since it has not changed. 96.7. Every morning so far! I even make my husband keep the air conditioning off just to see if I can have just a little change in temperature! But no, morning after morning -no matter what I do-96.7. A year ago, I would make myself feel better emotionally by eating chocolate- and lots of it. But now I am in a really good place spiritually and emotionally so no chocolate. Although the chocolate chip cookies my mother baked doesn't make this easy-I am not going to fall off the bandwagon. Dedication? Well in part, but mostly my new program has given me renewed focus to view my life holistically and I don't want to give that up. Besides, when you view your life holistically it's difficult to fixate on the things that aren't working. One thing I know is that there is so much good in my life. So yeah at 96.7, I'm cool!

The What if's...

I came down with a sudden case of the 'what if's syndrome'. What is that you ask? Well the 'what if's syndrome' is when you begin to view everything you do as if it's going to fail. But instead of coming out and just telling yourself its going to fail, you ASK yourself what happens if it does fail. So this weekend, as I was eating yet another carb-less meal, the 'what if's syndrome' came on full force. I stopped mid fork and wondered..."what if this program doesn't work?" I immediately put the question out of my mine and pressed forward. That was Friday. Saturday morning my 'what if's were right there to wake me up. I jumped out of bed and randomly open to a scripture..any scripture. I don't even know what I found or what I read because my 'what ifs' were so strong I couldn't see what I was reading. I took my temperature hoping to see an increase. A women's temperature increases when she has ovulated and stays high when she is pregnant. But my temp on Sat seemed normal. I took a deep breath and decided to make my already busy day busier. I went from meeting to meeting keeping my thoughts at bay. But that night as I passed up some Dominoes sandwiches and I diligently took my vitamins my 'what if's' came back like a flood. I simply went to sleep. That was Saturday. Sunday morning I woke up early trying to get to church by 9am wearing the right uniform (I 'm a usher) and had no time for 'what if's'. From the time I put on the gospel station in the car to the sermon at church, God was encouraging and soothing my heart. After the service someone was sharing chocolate cake and it took all my self control not to snatch that cake and start eating it with my hands and mouth! My husband was at work when I came home from church so I was alone with my 'what if' thoughts. I wanted to go over to a friend's house to it all-but went to bed instead (big mistake). Suddenly in bed I came face to face with it... "what if after giving up the foods that I love and making all those sacrifices I still don't get pregnant?" Silence. Deep breath. Silence. Exhale slowly. And then my memory begins to serve me right. I began to repeat the things I know to be true: God loves me, God created me; God cannot lie; God is in control; God gave me an amazing husband; God gave me an amazing family; God gave me amazing friends; God has never failed me yet. I kept going, repeating the things I knew to be true and by the time I woke up this morning my 'what ifs' were no where to be found. Just to make sure that they were gone, I repeated the things I knew to be true again out loud to my husband. Then I went on with my day with not a 'what if' in sight! It was truly a close call but I'm back on track again .

I love it when a plan comes together!

It worked. I got everything I needed done and had time to take care of me. Had a great hormonal balancing meal (that is what I am calling my no carb diet now), and ran for 45 minutes. I am so glad that I can be busy without neglecting my plan. I'm starting to be less and less conscientious and more back to my old self. I don't feel odd about eating meals without carbs anymore and I don't feel strange about referring to my online doctors (who are really nurses) when I have medical questions. I am okay with being a little different (and even a bit odd), but make no mistake I take my health seriously and am still determined to do my part while God does His!

Now that I know my plan does work; I just need to keep on working it. They say, (i have no idea who they are-so don't ask) it you do something for 15 days it becomes habit. Okay, 1 day down 14 to go....

And I am off....

Okay, today is a big test of whether or not I learned my lesson from last week. I am leaving for work in a few minutes. I did not do my run this morning, but I did take the first set of my vitamins. I have a full day of work followed by some meetings. My intention is to run at 8pm. I know it's rather late but I'm being realistic. So far this morning I am feeling very together. I spent time in prayer and feel very relaxed and organized. I had a great breakfast of boiled egg whites, green pepper(uncooked), a mango and green tea. I have high expectations for today! I did not pack a lunch because I have a lunch meeting with colleagues. My plan is to get a green salad with grilled chicken. For dinner tonight I am going to have black bean sauce (Haitian style) with some mushrooms and carrots. See? Today I have it all planned out! Hopefully it will all come together....now I'm off!

Work-Life-Balance

Work, life balance is easier said than done! Yesterday I had a day filled with meetings and deadlines. As a result, not only did I not have a chance to run, but I also forgot to take my vitamins. Remember how I had a great plan to make sure that didn't happen? Well, plans are easy to write-but hard to follow! My full-proof plan fell apart yesterday. My day filled up so quick that my little plan was completely squeezed out. So here I am back at square one determined to balance my life. I can't let work consume my life and I have to maintain my program. Besides, I need to find a healthy work balance NOW for when I do have kids I am not running around like a crazy. (I know you've seen those crazy moms around yelling and running like a chicken with its head cut off). Anyway here are the places I messed up and the things that caused my plan to fall apart:
1. I went to bed very late the night before
2. I woke up late that morning (because I went to bed late)
3. I didn't do my run in the morning (because I woke up late)
4. I didn't plan my meals ahead of time
5. Instead of slowing down and reorganizing my day, I stressed!

So there it is in black and white! Now I have to remind myself of these mistakes and avoid them tomorrow. It's interesting that for me to balance my hormones I have to also balance my life. Sometimes to get what we want, we have to learn (and prove) that we can handle it.
I'm looking forward to making tomorrow a balanced day!

Another Month

It's a new month! New months usually just mean another chance to get pregnant. This month is different though. Of course I still want to have children, but the thought no longer consumes my entire focus. There are some different moves I am trying to make with my career, and some community service projects I'm working on. Developing the other parts of my life requires my mind, so I can't let one singular issue be all consuming. This is both good and bad for my plan of balancing my hormones. It's good on the one hand because I a not sitting around all day thinking about having children. But on the other hand becoming increasing busy raises my stress level and makes it easier for me to forget to take my vitamins and neglect my runs. I am trying to eliminate these pitfalls by making myself even more disciplined. First, I need to get myself back into the routine of running first thing in the morning. Running first thing in the morning clears my head and relaxes me, thereby lowing my stress levels. Running first thing in the morning also gets it out of the way early and lets me continue with the rest of my day knowing that I've done what I needed for my health. My vitamins are a bit trickier. I take a total of 11 vitamins pills a day; 6 in the morning and 5 in the evening. Since I am out all day if I forget to take the ones for the morning before I leave the house there is nothing I can really do about it. I thought about leaving some in the car, so I have them handy in case I forget, but I worry about the heat. The warning labels require to keep them stored at room temperature. This is why the strict routine is important. I really mustn't forget to take my vitamins, period! Even as I begin to change my focus on to some other things I still need to maintain my health.
I have to learn this new balancing act; keeping all the balls in the air as I pursue new and old goals. I can't wait to see what this new month has in store for me-yep, I'm very excited.